What not to waste your money on.
It costs a lot to look this mid.
Shopping for me is akin to drug addiction. And I am an addict. Shopping is my drug. I am actually a drug addict so now that I’ve been sober for (almost and god willing) four years you can imagine just how bad this shopping addiction is. Anyways, this past summer I took a trip to the Hamptons. Part work, part social. In the weeks leading up to this trip, the new Row store in Amagansett crossed my mind more than a few times. I mentioned this to Ian but judging from his disapproving response, I figured best to wait until I was alone to go check out the goods.
I did mental gymnastics determining when the right time would be to make a trip to Amagansett. Just to look, I told myself. One afternoon, I planned to drive from Montauk to East Hampton to meet my friend who’d just had a baby. This friend is about ten years older than me. An established, married, new baby, and poised type of person. An adult. Running 30 minutes late, my friend texted me. Perfect, my brain thought. I will stop at The Row on my way there. I parked on the street. No problem, I’m at The Row lol, I replied back. I tried to casually check out a few other stores first like Suzi Kondi and Jenni Kayne, hoping these stores would scratch the itch. Unfortunately they did not. At last, I entered The Row store. It was beautiful. I tried to play it cool. I tried to appear to the sales people that I was someone who shopped here all the time. I examined the Lisa Eisner paper weights and Happier Grocer juice. I perused with admiration the clothing hanging on the rack. I tried on two pairs of pants, a few sweaters and a button down. I asked the sales ladies which pants they preferred– the black jean or the brown cord. I took selfies in the changing room. Finally, it was crunch time. No amount of mental debating or rationalizing would deter from the decision I had already made months ago. I was not leaving this store empty-handed.
I left with a mixture of excitement and guilt but mostly thrill. At my friend's house, we had lunch, caught up, and I held her baby. She asked me what I bought from The Row. I said “want to see?” She said yes. Excited, I ran out to the car to grab my bag. I showed her the goods, ready for her to join in on my buzz and cosign my purchases. She looked at me, stone serious, and said “I could have put a down payment on this house with all the money I spent on clothes in my 20’s. It’s one of my biggest regrets.” Shame immediately flooded my body. I was exposed. She saw right through my addict behavior.
On my way home I couldn’t stop thinking about her comment. In a sick way, the shame made me want to drive right back to the store and buy the other pair of jeans. In reality, she was right. I don’t wear the pants very often. I don’t wear the button down. It’s too big and looks silly on me. I don’t regret any of the money I’ve spent this year on trips, yoga trainings, or workouts, and I don’t regret most of the beauty products and treatments I’ve bought either. It costs a lot of money to look this mid. But as someone who has so much stuff, I do regret the money I spent on clothes if just for the simple fact that I don’t wear the pieces, but also, the psychological and emotional shame brought about by spending money on items I cannot really afford and bring me no long-term benefits.
All that being said, please enjoy…
Things I bought in 2024 would buy again in 2025:
Wellness/Beauty:
Acupuncture. If you want the rec for who I see specifically, comment on this post. I have been to those corporate acupuncture places like WTHN and found the experience to be ok… but not as rich in experience (and I don’t mean that in the lux way). $225/per session.
Manuka Honey mask by the Activist. $65.
So good and you can eat it. Sky High Farm All-Purpose Tallow Balm. For hands and below the neck only. But this helped my crusty nose during a cold too. $36.
Bathhouse Flatiron unlimited membership. $334.40/month.
Fara Homodi compact: essential face. I think this product changed my life. $88.
All of my yoga and breathwork trainings… upwards of 15k.
Face reality facial cleanser. Gentle. Acne safe. Cheapish. $31.
Skorr gentle retinol. $179.
Jas Imani eyebrow shape and lift (doesn’t make you look like scary influencer). $110.
Makes me feel hot and c*nty. Any yoga class, even the bad ones. Around $35.
Yoga retreat in Greece with Anton and Krissy. $2700. Not including airfare or other travel related expenses.
Vitamins. Around $296 bi-monthly.
Westman Atelier contour stick. $48.
Me with my Westman beat. 30 min massage at Grand Nature. $35.
Meyer lemons from Union Market. I like them better. Sorry. $3.99.
Thai massage on my Greece retreat. Life changing. $100.
Christine Chin Facial. Best for extractions. $140.
The Christine Chin signature. Facial with SJ at Sofie Pavitt. I got the Microcurrent Lift and Tone facial– I think this is best for same day or next day results. $260.
Rescue Spa facial. I leave there so fucking greasy but it’s a good facial. $200.
Everything Ashley has done to my hair. Base Bump, Single Process, Full Highlight. $220-350+ per treatment.
I have gone from red to brown to blond in a matter of days.
Things I would not buy again:
Tata Harper x Sky High Farms hand creme. Smells good but not hydrating. $50.
Othership class. Corny. $64/class.
Any lip moisturizer other than Aquaphor. Self-explanatory.
Hotel massages. Overpriced and too light a touch. UNLESS it’s Golden Eye in Jamaica. Best massage ever. The sports massage I had there was 90 minutes of heaven and $210.
A holistic doctor who told me to cut out gluten and dairy. But then again those two months I really cut it out completely was the best I’d felt all year… $800 for the hour.
Botox. Makes my face look weird. $400+.
Craniosacral therapy. I’m not sold. But I’m not not sold… so don’t hold me to it. $225.
Rahua Color Full Shampoo– Just not a fan. $38.
Corpus natural deodorant. Smells great but is not good. Sticky and I detest the feeling. $26.
Westman atelier eye pods. They’re really pretty and subtle but they’re not easy to use with your finger and I don’t think they deposit color well. Too expensive. $88.
Any mouth tape other than the 3M tape you can get at your local pharmacy.
Things I will begrudgingly continue to spend my money on even though I don’t want to and I’m not sold on:
Anything from Happier Grocery. A smoothie that is always never consistent will set you back about $15.
Psychotherapy. $250/session. Not covered by insurance and I don’t like my therapist very much.
Morpheus8 laser. My uncle told me my skin looked like porcelain when I came home for Thanksgiving. $900. Suggested treatment is 3 times.
Swollen as fuck after my first session. I was scared. 
A week or so after treatment. No makeup. Lip filler once a year. $400+.
Astrology/psychic reading. Price varies.
Heels that hurt my feet. Like these vintage Manolo Blahniks that cost around $400.
Personal training– I had a personal trainer I didn’t like but continued to see because I felt bad canceling. And I can’t really afford it. But I’m going to start again because I think strength training is really important, and I don’t have the motivation or confidence to lift in the gym on my own. Anyways, the price varies but I think mine was around 200$ an hour at Lifetime.
Clothing from The Row.
Misc fashion purchases I would buy again:
Double RL jeans (thrice over). Japanese denim. I wear the size up and down. Lizzy and I have sold over 10 people this pair of jeans now. $365 a pair.
Extremely overpriced Alaia bodysuit… not sharing price.
Body suit tucked into DRL jeans and boots I found in my closet at home. This is my mom’s closet FYI. In case you were really starting to judge. Vintage Saint Laurent blazer from the 70’s or 80’s from Ellen’s on Ludlow. $600.
This vintage coat from heart & lous. $350.
Vintage Ralph Lauren sweater from Yesterday Tomorrow. $130.
Anything mock neck.
70’s concho belt from Grit General in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.
My vintage fur pieces even though Ian says I’m perpetuating a “sad aesthetic”.
Thanks for reading!! Let me know if you buy anything :)
 | A guest post by
|
This is such a genuine, layered and interesting 2024 wrap up. You’re so fucking funny and real. AND I will be looking up this Morpheus laser.
"it costs a lot of money to look this mid" 💀💀💀
I'm curious about the Morpheus laser!!