Am I healed yet?
everywhere I go there I am
My name is Alden Price.
I grew up stuffy-nosed and anxious in a small town in rural Maryland. The first time I was recommended a gluten-free diet for allergies was in the 6th grade. I held up well until we decorated cupcakes in class one day and I crumbled under the temptation and inhaled everything including the wrapper.
I attended a small boarding high school outside of Philly and developed an increasingly more-anxious and sickly demeanor. Binge eating sweets was my comfort zone in an environment where I felt entirely alone. Milkshakes, raw cookie dough, and hazelnut coffee was my daily diet. On my sixteenth birthday I ate 16 cupcakes just for “fun”. One time I devoured a stick of butter because my friends dared me.
In college, at a liberal arts school that was like a bigger boarding school, I replaced cupcakes and butter with alcohol and adderall. Hitting lower and lower emotional bottoms, I turned to the newly exploding mainstream wellness industry for answers. I became interested in health in wellness not only for solace from mental disturbances but also for external optimization and a deeply rooted desire to be desired. I’ve always wanted to be perfect.
I graduated college in 2020. Depressed, I half-completed the Institute of Integrative Nutrition health coaching course hoping that would help. Depressed, I exercised every day for two hours and frantically chronicled my diet and weight in a journal. I took the first job I was offered in sales. Depressed, I woke up in the back of a strange man’s car in at a Top-Golf location with dried puke all over me after blacking out and telling my boyfriend to go fuck himself at an infamous West Palm Beach club.
I moved to New York, riding the high of newly found sobriety. Got a new apartment. Made new friends. New clothes. New hair. Got a new boyfriend. Got a new apartment. Got a dog. Quit my job. Started working for myself.
Still depressed.
One day the new boyfriend came home to me sulking on the couch yet again. “If I get you that yoga teacher training thing you talk about sometimes will that make you happy?”
In the last 2 years I’ve done back to back trainings– Sky Ting’s 200hr Yoga Teacher Training (where Lizzy and I met), an apprenticeship with Alex Sharry, a mentorship with Krissy Jones, 300hr Sacred Fig Yoga Teacher Training (Lizzy also attended), Meridian Yoga Therapy Training with Rose Erin Vaughn, and Healer Training with David Elliott to name a few.
I am an Aquarius sun, Pisces rising, Scorpio moon. A Projector type in human design. Breathwork teacher. I have a regular therapist and a spiritual therapist, and I trust my acupuncturists more than my primary care doctor. I don’t do cocaine or adderall anymore so I seek dopamine spikes during sauna to cold plunge rotations– which is how Lizzy and I had the idea to do this Substack. Different means to the same ending, I guess.
I was too scared to make a Substack alone. But I’ve been manifesting a forum to write for a long time. My English advisor in college told me, “you’d really like to be writing for a living, right?’ Yes, I replied. The thought had never occurred to me.
This year I’ve gotten mono twice. My acupuncturist who I see regularly told me I should write a blog. It would be really good for me, he said.
This summer I saw a life changing Thai Massage guy on a remote Cycladian island. I was self deprecatingly comparing myself to the more pliable bodies of the co-retreaters on my trip, when he, in an attempt to be reassuring (?) said, “you are a blogger.”
In August I saw Substack was hiring a Health and Wellness Partnerships coordinator. I very frantically wrote a slightly manic cover letter and applied. I never heard back but that’s OK because the exercise was illuminating. I realized I hadn’t written anything more complex or personal than an instagram caption in a long time. And it felt good.
In my healer training with David Elliott later in the month he spoke about how channeling energy into creative outlets is extremely useful for somatic and spiritual healing. Writing, acting, painting, dancing, etc. Things I was doing none of. Maybe it’s not too late for me to be an actress, I thought. My best childhood friend, Clare, once told me if I wasn't so self-conscious I could be a good one. Grandiosity is a symptom of alcoholism. I signed up for a creative writing class instead. We meet every Monday.
I also signed up for Benshen, a self-growth community rooted in Kundalini teachings. Desirée, the founder, mentions Seth Godin often, whom I’ve regrettably never heard of, and how everyone should blog every day, even anonymously.
After my second bout with mono this July, I showed up to acupuncture and collapsed into a sea of tears. “I think you should rate your days on a scale of one to ten,” Shane recommended. He was right. Most of my days land anywhere from a 6 to a 10. I’ve been doing better than I thought.
I have a community that shows up for me. I have a practice that challenges me and meets me where I am every day. I have tools that regulate me when I’m feeling out of whack. I have reference points to come back to when I feel lost. I am developing a relationship with nature and to a higher power that makes me feel less alone.
To me, living life well is about noticing things and connecting the dots. Like the life cycle of a seed. The seed of an idea exists before the thought even enters your brain. A seed is planted and it can grow and sometimes it gets sick and it can get better. The flowers of the plant in my living room move around and turn, yearning for the sun each day, and I find myself curious about the direction they face.
I’m looking forward to sharing little things that I notice and techniques I love and use. Some serious, most not. I’m excited to dive deeper into topics that explore the tension between my personal experience and the recurring themes of wellness.
Upcoming classes and fun stuff:
I’m teaching a breathwork class this upcoming Monday at 4:00pm-5:30pm. Light movement, guided breathwork journey, and some journaling at the end. Sign up here.
Love Cups at Sky Ting Yoga next Wednesday and Thursday (17th and 18th). 30 minutes of personalized cupping, acupressure, and moxa in the beautiful Sky Ting spa. Book here.
And since I don’t have a website the best place to follow along for upcoming classes and cupping stuff is probs IG.
Would love to see you there <3
 | A guest post by
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🤍 you’re an incredible writer!